Home > Esmé > Dave Ramsey I Am Not

Dave Ramsey I Am Not

I previousy wrote that we wanted to keep Esmé out of daycare. However, after reviewing our budget [more than once], this seems unlikely. I will not discuss the minutiae of our finances, but even taking draconian measures to strip our budget of any excess, it would still be nearly impossible. [I know some of you are thinking/wondering it, and the answer is no, we do not have any credit card debts]. The fact is, when we were married and purchased our home and set our financial goals [however nebulous], we budgeted and planned with two incomes, never really thinking through our desire to avoid daycare when the first baby arrived.

So all this has been really depressing for me. The more I think about it, the less I like the idea of daycare, and now it is inevitable. Also, a part of me holds the belief that, as the husband, I am the bread-winner, and, as such,  I have failed. Working should be an option for my wife, not a necessity. That was not the case with my parents, and I vowed early on that I would not be in that situation. Yet, here I am. That same part of me also thinks that I should have known better, and that I should have had a better financial plan for my family.

Some of you might not like my statement above about my belief that, as the husband, I am the bread-winner. You should know that I am not opposed to my lovely wife [or any other woman] working. In fact, her income puts us in a whole other income category, and that is a very enjoyable thing. It is simply unfortunate that we have become so accustomed to her income that it is impossible to live without it. And that is where I find fault with myself. I should have never treated her income as an inflow that would never stop. In essence, I blame myself for not having enough financial know-how to keep us out of this situation.

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Categories: Esmé
  1. March 28, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    Many finance experts recommend looking at the cost of daycare vis-a-vis the lower of the two incomes. It often occurs that the money made is only a minor surplus in comparison to the cost of daycare. Obviously I’ve no idea what your wife makes, but you may want to consider how many kids you’re going to have and do the math.

    People raise lots of kids on very little income all over the world. You’ll work it out.

  2. iowatt
    March 30, 2007 at 8:27 am

    You hit it on the nose. You are the husband, and the spiritual leader of the home. God made men to lead, regardless of what society wants everyone to believe. We struggled with this decision for several months, before we decided my wife should stay home. We have to do without on some modern conveniences, but overall, it is worth it!

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